While veraciously attacking her body with increased excitement, and in a manner that would make one imagine the profession of love were directed at God, he muttered breathlessly just how much he loved her – and she froze.
His thoughtless words echoed in her heart. Oh God, I love you so much!
She used to say the exact same thing – to God.
All at once, like buds of cotton were instantly plucked out of the ears of her heart, she heard Him. Clearly and distinctly, like he were closer than the aroused individual pressed against her body, she could hear Him calling her back; reminding her how much she was loved by Him, reminding her how much she used to love Him and letting her know she could still walk away. Right away.
Without further prompting she peeled her arms off his sweaty neck and pushed his bewildered face away from her collarbone. She’d often confessed her love for this sweet gentle person within – just as the ‘hungry’ fellow had done as he struggled to balance his breathing – but then without realizing, she didn’t anymore. And how could she, when she’d let so much garbage waltz in, that there was no more room in her mind for her to dance with Him?
She adjusted her clothing calmly and unlocked the car door once again. Simply shaking her head to every attempted protest from him. She showed him her wristwatch to indicate that she had overstayed her welcome – whether or not she had in his opinion – and got into the driver’s seat. When she looked at him she smiled, but her smile faltered as immediately images of the past few minutes bombarded her mind and a wave of guilt and shame flooded her insides. She turned away but then He spoke again, the voice she had ignored for far too long, and the soothing truth of scripture calmed her once again.
Romans 8:1— “There is therefore now no condemnation to them whivh are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”
Psalm 37:24— “Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand.”
Proverbs 24:16— “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again; but the wicked shall fall into mischief.”
1 John 3:20— “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.”
… She mentally repeated the verses until she could think of nothing else but the redeeming love and forgiveness Christ never ceased to make available to her in spite of herself. She faced him again and smiled, promising to have his car returned in good time – knowing without a doubt that the car would be the only thing returning to him from her.
With that she backed out of his driveway and headed for the entrance gate, momentarily feeling sorry for the security warden she was going to inevitably rouse from slumber, but unable to stay on that thought for too long with all the joy and gratitude that threatened to erupt from within her.
As she headed home feeling elated, she momentarily became particularly conscious of the calm beating of her heart – which was in sharp contrast to its general state in recent times – and immediately had something of an epiphany which she mentally noted for future reference. Although filled with gratitude and thanksgiving to God for providing a way out and making available a second chance for her, she came to grasp that things might have turned out a lot differently – and not gotten so out of control maybe – if she’d simply listened to the One speaking to her heart from the beginning…
It was a lesson she would not be soon forgetting.